If you’re ever stoned
and then you end up in church
you’ll probably laugh
Homeless dude asked me,
“Brother, could you spare some change?”
I said, “No.”
Scumbag.
I think that I’m black
But then I look at my wang
Nope, it’s a pink crayon
If I had a boy
I wouldn’t play with his dick
Cuz that would be sick
If Jeffrey Dahmer
invites you to eat dinner
Politely decline
Whoever you are
One fact unites everyone:
Midgets are funny
I hope when I die
My casket gets tipped over
And somehow, I fart
If you have trouble
with stamina in the bed
think of dead kitties
If you’re really drunk
and you have sex with a dog
that’s not an excuse
I was watching Alf
and then I thought to myself,
Hmm...Alf has no cock
Once I was trippin
and then I looked at my wall
For like two hours
Went to a concert
Dude asked, “Do you need tickets?”
I said, “No.” Dumbass.
How come, every time
I’m at the supermarket,
Old chicks stare at me?
Robert Dinero
his face always seems to say,
“What’s that foul odor?”
When I shave my balls
and I cut myself, I think,
“Please balls, dont fall out.”
I have cottonmouth
I need some gum or a drink
Sex would be good too
If you had 5 kids
And one was murdered
You’d have 4 kids left
I went to the south
It’s a nice place to visit
If you’re a white guy
I went to Brooklyn
It sucked. It would’ve been fun
If I was not white
I went to Paris
Some dude said, “Meeshur!” I said,
“Meeshur is horny!”
When I masturbate
And people call me and talk
I finish the job
It is amusing
When a grown man says the word,
“Poopie.” heh heh heh
I think to myself,
when a cheerleader walks by,
“Wish I had ether.”
Sometimes when I fart
I’ll shove my face in my crotch
yes...I’m a sick fuck
Christmas at my house:
No tree, No presents, no sleigh
Just weed, booze, and whores
